Ah, here we are, another year older and perhaps another year just a bit wiser. 2013 brought its share of adventures, twists, turns, ups and downs- of which all I am grateful for. As I gear up to head into 2014 with some new perspective and understanding under my wings I've started to cultivate my list of intentions for the upcoming year. Along with setting more specific goals and resolutions I like to set "intentions". Working from a group of ideas with a higher, broader aim gives you the opportunity to create an entire way of living and outlook that supports both the bigger and smaller goals your up to. Intention shifts perspective from the common sight of resolutions of "whats missing? what can I fix? what can I change?" to an outlook of "what can I add, where can I grow" (much more positive). It creates space to grow, shift, and change along with your personal goals and growth through out the year. As things change you can take what you want, and leave the rest. With that said,here are my intentions for 2014:
1. If it's both terrifying and amazing, you should definitely persue it.
Vulerability, i looooovvveee to hate it. Berne brown said it best: "vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage". It takes courage to drop what's getting in the way (fear, judgement, doubt) of that something amazing you want. If your scared, that's a good sign its worth it. Scared shitless?100% a go for it. While not all scary and adventurous ideas and plans work out exactly as you had in mind, there's always a nugget of knowladge to walk away with.
2. Do no harm, but take no shit.
I set for an intention of 2013 to live from a place of love. We should all still do that. If somethings not for you, dont do it. if something is no longer serving you, be willing to let it go with love, rather than hold onto it, pretend you love it, and then cling on with resentment. Take no shit from others, and especially don't take shit from yourself.
3. Live from a place of worthiness.
You are worthy, no matter how much you like to tell yourself your not. Drop what you must to get there. We accept the love we think we deserve, so start owning your worth. Not when you loose 5 pounds, make more money, or have a fancy car, do it now. Right now. Own All of it.You deserve it.
4. Let what you love be what you do.
Find what lights you up and do it more. Im not suggesting you quit your desk job and start selling your precious works of water colors instead, but seek out what you love and begin to imtegrate it more into your daily life. Make a concious decision to do more of what you love. Start there, and then then infinite opportunities open to fuel you life from your passion. E.E. Cummings said "it take courage to grow up and become who you really are", NOW is your chance.
5. Hug your haters.
Not every person you come across will sing your praises, nor will you for each person you meet. Our default mode is to immediatly meet that with resistance. It's much easier to resist than accept those who resist us. My intention for 2014 is to conciously shift from reacting with resistance to actively meeting with acceptance. Live from a place of we are all connected. In the big picture were all seeking out the same thing, love and acceptance. If there's nothing else you can connect or agree on, come back to that.
6. I'll take care of me for you, you take care of you for me.
Give yourself permission to make yourself a priority. It's healthy. Taking care of everyone else and neglecting your own needs is selfish. What you can give all stems from what you already have inside. If you have nothing left, slow down. Give yourself permission to take whatever it is you need to work on you and refill. Then you can send out what you have with a more powerful, effective force.
7. Keep looking up, that's the secret of life.
Snoopy knows best. But that's what it all comes down to. You look in the direction you want to grow. Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can. That simple.
wishing you all a happy, healthy, and bright 2014!
chels
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, July 21, 2013
"Enough"...The Next Chapter of Chels.
Long time no talk blog world! I'm Back for a hot minute of inspiration.
SO I'm about to embark on a new life adventure that is leading me to move to New Orleans in two weeks, and I couldn't be more excited. I'm happier than happy, in love, and ready to jump in with my whole heart into this new adventure! (gross, I know, but even if your thinking "gag me" keep reading)
BUT, as you know, things haven't always been this way. I spent some quality time at the extreme opposite. As I get ready to head out into this new journey I got to thinking about the different phases, cycles, and seasons we all go through throughout our life. Im a kinesthetic learner and could most easily relate these phases to the simple daily motions walking, running, and jumping (or at least in my head they do). Here is my thoughts on these phases and parallels. Obviously, they don't always happen in this exact order, and sometimes we spend more time in one than another. Never the less here is what I have learned:
First, walking. Its slow, time consuming, tedious, and only an olympic sport when you put "power" in front of it. Mentally and emotionally its the phase where your usually frustrated, feel "stuck", unhappy (or worse, indifferent), afraid, alone, insignificant, the list can go on. You find yourself in a place with zero self love, a whole lot of hate for your life, and then some more dislike for yourself more when things aren't changing. Then you feel alone, and being alone with someone you hate sucks. Vicious cycle. This "walking" is when you are coming from a mindset of scarcity, a place of "I am not enough".
I have spent a good chunk of time coming from a place of "I am not enough". It's an ugly place to come from. I was 100% convinced that anything you put in front of "enough" (skinny, pretty, smart, doing, being, happy, important) I was definitely not. And believe me, constantly thinking and convincing yourself that you have something to prove to others to be loved is exhausting. And totally not productive. And a lie. But between our "we need more" culture, the media that puts supermodels and billionaires on pedestals, and our own stubborn minds, its an easy place to get stuck.
The key to finding your way out is cultivating a shift in your mind to "I am enough", just as you are, no matter where you are, where you have been, or where your going. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Say it over and over and over again, until you start to believe it. Radical self acceptance. woah.
You can start small. Start with a list. What do you love about your life? What do you love about yourself? What do you love about what you do? That takes the focus off the negative and starts the shift into positivity. Then focus on those things, and do them. A lot. Live them, be them, and continue to love them.
The greatest lesson I have learned from this is that your sense of love and belonging can NVER be greater than your self acceptance. You must love yourself, before you can fully love others. Once you plant that seed, you begin to work your way out of the dark place and into the light.
Running. Physically running is not my forte, Ill take some down dogs over a jog any day, but I'm working on it. From my limited running knowledge and physics 101 I do know that from walk to jog, jog to run, run to sprint, you gain momentum. Its not instant, its gradual. Just like self acceptance: you get the concept, you know you have to love yourself, but old habits die hard. The reality is you're not going to wake up one morning and all of a sudden love everything about yourself, just like you wouldn't go from being sedentary to sprinting a 4 second 40. Good things take time.
When you get to the point where your able to start to gain speed, you have reached the point in which you are able to let yourself feel vulnerable. Before I go any further, Id like to reiterate that being vulnerable is NOT weak. As the dictionary defines vulnerable means open to attack or damage. Weak is inability to withstand attack or damage. Big difference.
Your learning to show your mess. All that ugly stuff that you were trying to hide but still lugged around with you back when you were walking, is a lot harder to hold on to once you've gained some speed. When you open up to vulnerability, you also open yourself up to "be seen". You have to let people see your mess, all of it, to let it go.
During my most recent Yoga Teacher Training I realized this was something I had an extremely hard time with. I liked people to see the "I have my shit together, I'm happy, I'm brave cupcake Chelsea", not messy Chelsea. Not the Chelsea that still "angry, fearful of the unknown, that has stuff buried deep down and doesn't want anyone to know about" Chelsea. Why? Because I was clinging to the thought that no one would want to see that side of me. But what I learned is that when you hold back your mess, you hold the rest of yourself back too. And getting in your own way is pretty counter productive. Especially when your trying to get your sprint on. So, First step: start to love your mess. You'r mess makes you who you are. If people can't love you and your mess, let them go, because plenty of others will. Then, when you are able to show up "all in" and let yourself be seen, others will do the same.
Breaking down that barrier between resistance and vulnerability creates connection. Berne Brown's definition of "connection" is my favorite thus far- "Connection is the energy created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. When we can give and receive without judgement." You can get your sense of belonging now from within and without. You can whole-heartedly give and receive love equally.
Once You've waved your mess flag, owned it, seen others, connected with them, and been able to cultivate whole-hearted love, your ready to jump.
Physically you can jump off the ground, off a diving board, out of trees, out of planes, endless opportunities and creative interpretations. Mentally, its the place where you have enough stability and momentum you can finally catch some air.
The last time I took a big jump was this time last year when I headed off to Africa. I jumped out of love for myself, my family, and my well-being. And I wouldn't be putting it all out there if I said fear played no part in it. It totally did.
Jumping in any setting is scary, exciting, adrenaline rushing, and takes courage. Its a risk, and by the time we are ready to jump we should 100% vulnerable and 100% coming from a place of being enough. Obviously, we are human and out thoughts can change rapidly and can get out of these positive places WAY quicker than it took us to finally get to them, BUT we now have the tools to get us back. We've got love for ourselves, love for others, connection, and hands to catch us.
In life we make decisions out of fear, or out of love. I've done a lot of both. When we jump out of fear, were not ready- we are still coming from a place of "not enough". And then typically we end up back where we started, walking, or even crawling. When we jump out of and with love, we are set free. Fear destructs, love liberates. Fear destructs, LOVE liberates. Jump from a place of love, and anything becomes possible.
I've had to do some walking, running, jogging, walking again, and then a sprint, NOW Its time for me to jump again. I can confidently say that I am ready to look uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks in the eye grounded in that "I am enough". I hope that when the time is right, YOU can do the same.
I'm ready and out-of-this-world excited to jump with loads of love from the East Coast over to the Gulf coast!
xoxoxo
Chels
SO I'm about to embark on a new life adventure that is leading me to move to New Orleans in two weeks, and I couldn't be more excited. I'm happier than happy, in love, and ready to jump in with my whole heart into this new adventure! (gross, I know, but even if your thinking "gag me" keep reading)
BUT, as you know, things haven't always been this way. I spent some quality time at the extreme opposite. As I get ready to head out into this new journey I got to thinking about the different phases, cycles, and seasons we all go through throughout our life. Im a kinesthetic learner and could most easily relate these phases to the simple daily motions walking, running, and jumping (or at least in my head they do). Here is my thoughts on these phases and parallels. Obviously, they don't always happen in this exact order, and sometimes we spend more time in one than another. Never the less here is what I have learned:
First, walking. Its slow, time consuming, tedious, and only an olympic sport when you put "power" in front of it. Mentally and emotionally its the phase where your usually frustrated, feel "stuck", unhappy (or worse, indifferent), afraid, alone, insignificant, the list can go on. You find yourself in a place with zero self love, a whole lot of hate for your life, and then some more dislike for yourself more when things aren't changing. Then you feel alone, and being alone with someone you hate sucks. Vicious cycle. This "walking" is when you are coming from a mindset of scarcity, a place of "I am not enough".
I have spent a good chunk of time coming from a place of "I am not enough". It's an ugly place to come from. I was 100% convinced that anything you put in front of "enough" (skinny, pretty, smart, doing, being, happy, important) I was definitely not. And believe me, constantly thinking and convincing yourself that you have something to prove to others to be loved is exhausting. And totally not productive. And a lie. But between our "we need more" culture, the media that puts supermodels and billionaires on pedestals, and our own stubborn minds, its an easy place to get stuck.
The key to finding your way out is cultivating a shift in your mind to "I am enough", just as you are, no matter where you are, where you have been, or where your going. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Say it over and over and over again, until you start to believe it. Radical self acceptance. woah.
You can start small. Start with a list. What do you love about your life? What do you love about yourself? What do you love about what you do? That takes the focus off the negative and starts the shift into positivity. Then focus on those things, and do them. A lot. Live them, be them, and continue to love them.
The greatest lesson I have learned from this is that your sense of love and belonging can NVER be greater than your self acceptance. You must love yourself, before you can fully love others. Once you plant that seed, you begin to work your way out of the dark place and into the light.
Running. Physically running is not my forte, Ill take some down dogs over a jog any day, but I'm working on it. From my limited running knowledge and physics 101 I do know that from walk to jog, jog to run, run to sprint, you gain momentum. Its not instant, its gradual. Just like self acceptance: you get the concept, you know you have to love yourself, but old habits die hard. The reality is you're not going to wake up one morning and all of a sudden love everything about yourself, just like you wouldn't go from being sedentary to sprinting a 4 second 40. Good things take time.
When you get to the point where your able to start to gain speed, you have reached the point in which you are able to let yourself feel vulnerable. Before I go any further, Id like to reiterate that being vulnerable is NOT weak. As the dictionary defines vulnerable means open to attack or damage. Weak is inability to withstand attack or damage. Big difference.
Your learning to show your mess. All that ugly stuff that you were trying to hide but still lugged around with you back when you were walking, is a lot harder to hold on to once you've gained some speed. When you open up to vulnerability, you also open yourself up to "be seen". You have to let people see your mess, all of it, to let it go.
During my most recent Yoga Teacher Training I realized this was something I had an extremely hard time with. I liked people to see the "I have my shit together, I'm happy, I'm brave cupcake Chelsea", not messy Chelsea. Not the Chelsea that still "angry, fearful of the unknown, that has stuff buried deep down and doesn't want anyone to know about" Chelsea. Why? Because I was clinging to the thought that no one would want to see that side of me. But what I learned is that when you hold back your mess, you hold the rest of yourself back too. And getting in your own way is pretty counter productive. Especially when your trying to get your sprint on. So, First step: start to love your mess. You'r mess makes you who you are. If people can't love you and your mess, let them go, because plenty of others will. Then, when you are able to show up "all in" and let yourself be seen, others will do the same.
Breaking down that barrier between resistance and vulnerability creates connection. Berne Brown's definition of "connection" is my favorite thus far- "Connection is the energy created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. When we can give and receive without judgement." You can get your sense of belonging now from within and without. You can whole-heartedly give and receive love equally.
Once You've waved your mess flag, owned it, seen others, connected with them, and been able to cultivate whole-hearted love, your ready to jump.
Physically you can jump off the ground, off a diving board, out of trees, out of planes, endless opportunities and creative interpretations. Mentally, its the place where you have enough stability and momentum you can finally catch some air.
The last time I took a big jump was this time last year when I headed off to Africa. I jumped out of love for myself, my family, and my well-being. And I wouldn't be putting it all out there if I said fear played no part in it. It totally did.
Jumping in any setting is scary, exciting, adrenaline rushing, and takes courage. Its a risk, and by the time we are ready to jump we should 100% vulnerable and 100% coming from a place of being enough. Obviously, we are human and out thoughts can change rapidly and can get out of these positive places WAY quicker than it took us to finally get to them, BUT we now have the tools to get us back. We've got love for ourselves, love for others, connection, and hands to catch us.
In life we make decisions out of fear, or out of love. I've done a lot of both. When we jump out of fear, were not ready- we are still coming from a place of "not enough". And then typically we end up back where we started, walking, or even crawling. When we jump out of and with love, we are set free. Fear destructs, love liberates. Fear destructs, LOVE liberates. Jump from a place of love, and anything becomes possible.
I've had to do some walking, running, jogging, walking again, and then a sprint, NOW Its time for me to jump again. I can confidently say that I am ready to look uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks in the eye grounded in that "I am enough". I hope that when the time is right, YOU can do the same.
I'm ready and out-of-this-world excited to jump with loads of love from the East Coast over to the Gulf coast!
xoxoxo
Chels
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Once Upon a Time, Shit Hit the Fan......
Once upon a time (time being about this same time last year) shit (shit being my life, emotional state, my sanity in general) hit the fan. SPLAT. A series of events happened that rocked my world in a way I DID NOT want or expect it to be rocked.
After many tears, vicious attacks on the punching bag, and about three months consuming more booze than age appropriate, I said to myself “I need to get the fuck out of here”. So I did. And “the fuck out of here” happened to be Africa. I left with the mission to run away. I came back knowing I don’t have to.
Many have asked what I learned while I was away, and its taken me up until just about now to fully digest everything. Im still unraveling the tangled up web of knowledge and self-realizations I accumulated over my three months away. This whole past year has been a HUGE learning process. A painful, joyful, courageous (but sometimes stupid), life changing learning process. And with gratitude, I can look back on it now with a smile.
Here are some thoughts on what I have learned, and continue to learn, happily ever after......
1.Faith- Faith in God, Faith in others, Faith in myself, Faith in Possibility.
In my last 72 hours in Africa I had all of my shower belongings stolen, luggage lost, and debit card eaten the morning I was to fly out of Cape Town. I had no phone and no cash to get to the air port. I had two options- flip shit and cry hysterically, or let go and give it up to God. I chose option one for about 5 minutes, but then realized that really wasn't worth my time, energy, or strange looks from people passing on the street. SO I took a few deep breaths, pulled myself together, and said a little (er...Really BIG) prayer. And low and behold, it worked. One Facebook message to fellow Charlestonians I had met along the way in my travels (shout out to the Grava Brothers) and not only did I have a ride to the airport, but also a yoga class and a kick ass pre-flight dinner at Haout Bay market.
I got on that plane down to baby wipes and dry shampoo and dirtier than ever, but undoubtedly with more faith then ever. There were countless moments on my trip where I felt stronger and closer to God. When you give up struggle and open up to trust and possibility is when the sweetness of life can happen. Give up the fight, surrender it up to Faith, and trust anything is possible.
2. Serenity - its better than insanity
As Albert Einstein so wisely defined: “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So the whole “If you ignore and stuff down your problems and feelings they go away” thing doesn't actually work. It makes you crazy. For me, each time I experienced something I didn't like, I would often try to ignore it- pretend it didn't happen, with the expectation I would no longer have to feel hurt or pain. Heads up, it did happen. And was going to face it eventually. No matter where I tried to hide from it, it comes came with me.
We all have a little insanity in us- an addiction, a bad relationship, negative self- sabotaging thoughts, jobs we hate, bad habits. The trick is to balance in its opposite: serenity- Changing what you can and ACCEPTING what you cant. Sounds simple, and essentially it is. its the resistance (punching, kicking, fighting, epic battle) to get to the point of surrender thats the bitch. But as I have learned, and not the easy way, serenity is a much better place to be.
3.Courage- to be both brave, and humble.
I found my self seeking out adrenaline rushing adventure in countless ways in Africa- most of that was not courageous, just stupid.
Courage came into play when both my feet were on the ground, not in a cage with sharks, or flipping off a raft into the Zambezi rapids. Courage was when I had to say good bye to my kiddos at the nursery, ACJ, and the orphanage. It was when I smile through my tears and say “See you Monday” even though I wouldn't. Courage to let people see me at my most vulnerable. Courage to have last nights dinner come out both ends and cry all at the same time. And humble enough to laugh about it later. It came dead exhausted at the end of the day wanting nothing more than my bed and shower at home, but appreciating my pillow-less sleeping bag instead. Courage to own my mistakes. Humble to embrace my flaws and imperfections.
Mary Anne Radmacher said it best: “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.”
4.Confidence
Had I traveled without confidence, I would not have made it past my layover in Amsterdam. I had traveled by myself before, but never to this extent. I had some confidence in my abilities, but throughout my time gained a WHOLE lot more. At the end of my travels along the garden route, gearing up to meet up with my overland trip, I realized I needed my yellow fever shot to get back into South Africa to fly home. And I didn’t have it. Oops? Oh, and I had 3 hours to get one before my flight to Johannesburg. Even bigger oops. After stopping at 3 different doctors offices and being turned away, I thought I was toast. Stuck in Zambia forever toast. But I didn't give up. I hopped in a cab, navigated the driver to the English speaking hospital I googled, walked in, got my shot, and then politely asked the driver to haul ass to the airport.
Traveling solo you can only rely on yourself. It is a true test of how you can operate as an individual and brings out what you are truly capable of. For that reason alone, I encourage every one to do it. Blow your own damn mind, and make yourself proud. I sure did.
and MOST importantly......
5. Everything will be OK in the end. And if its not OK, its not the end.
No matter how many times or how much shit hits the fan, there will some way, some how, be a happily ever after.
Love,
Chels
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