What is REAL?

"What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.

-the Velveteen Rabbit


I am lucky to have a lot of very real people in my life. I too have found myself balding and shabby, and losing an eyeball every now and then.

Since I have been in Africa, shit has been "real". I've seen, experienced, and felt things that have made me keenly aware of the "real-ness" within both myself and others.

Here is a collection of my thoughts on a few things that make us, and have made me REAL:

~Having to say goodbye before your ready.

Can be to a person, a place, a habit, a part of your life. No matter what- it's hard.

Today was my last day on project. I don't think that I will ever be ready to say goodbye to the incredible children I have met and worked with along m journey in Nomzamo. Tears streamed down my face (and they are now) as I tried to explain to the nursery kids that I would not be back on Monday because I had to go on an airplane. After giving them a smooch on the forehead and a hug, all 53 waved goodbye.
Like with all goodbyes, it may mean that you never meet again in this life time, but those little ones will ALWAYS be close in my heart.

~Recognizing and accepting when you hit a wall, doing what you need to do to move past it, even if that means you have to sit and stare at it for a while.

I've hit my share of physical and mental walls since I have been in Africa. I learned it was possible to puke and cry at the same time. By Day 2, hour 19 of a 3 day hike I wanted to find something, anything to sit on and find a way down the last mountain of the day that involved anything but walking. After seeing 9 kids with raw real fear in their eyes get beaten with a metal rod by their teacher for incorrect test answers, I had to leave the classroom and cry for an hour. And just like everyone else around the world I've had days where I wanted to say "I can't do this". But you press on, for the only way out is through. No matter how long you have to look at the damn wall, or how much hair gets rubbed off, it eventually breaks down. Then you find freedom, and become that much more REAL.

~Embracing people and cultures for their differences, rather than judging them.

It's much easier sometime to judge from afar than to actually get to know someone and discover who they truly are. The beautiful thing about the world is that no two people are alike- if we were we wouldent need each other. It can also be frustrating, difficult, and require patients. But once you begin to accept differences, rather than resist, a collaboration manifests into something marvelous and greater than yourself.


~Having feelings so strong it's painful.

Joy, happiness, anger, fear, gratitude. Letting yourself feel, rather than ignore and go numb, creates a REAL and beautiful heart. And usually the more it hurts, the more important it is to feel.

~Most importantly, loving and accepting yourself just as you are so you can unconditionally love and accept others.

You cannot fully love someone else until you love yourself. no matter how shabby you are or loose or eye balls may be, show compassion for yourself and your love will shine through to everyone else.

One of my favorite quotes is "be yourself in this world, everyone else is already taken." so be yourself with love, be different, it makes you REAL.



Tomorrow i begin my next journey traveling a week through the garden route in South Africa, then up to Zimbabwe, Botswana, and Zambia to continue keeping it real!


Xoxoxoox