Five Things I've Learned So Far...

I made it! In one piece! Happily sitting in Capetown now, and will head to Gordon's Bay this evening. My travles have already been incredible and far from describible, but here is a short list to give you insight on my learning experience thus far...

1. VISA is accepted everywhere. Except for Ansterdam tram busses. Marketing flaw on their part. Lesson #1: no matter how long the currency exchange line is at the airport, wait in it. It's less painful than being reemed out in Dutch by a bus driver for trying to ride for free.

2.Weed and prosititutes are the norm in Amsterdam ( which, full disclosure, I did neither of). Lesson #2: I would need to learn how to hold my drugs, start smoking cigs, and date ridiculously well outfited men to hang with the Europeans.

3.Flight Tracker: friend quickly turned foe. Lesson #3: Dont torture yourself, go for the three movies and old episodes of Friends instead.

4.Window seats seem ideal...until you remember you have a baby bladder. After the 9th time of getting up to use the restroom on a flight, seats B and C no longer accept your apologies. Lesson #4: I'll go for the asile seat on the way home.

5.Lesson #5: Any shower is a good shower. After a 12 hour flight, sleeping in a hostel bed, getting sweaty, then rained on, sweaty again, going to the beach, and then windblown, that public shower looks awesome (and yes, thats a long time to not shower, dont judge).


and many more to come.....
xoxoxo

A Friend is a Present You Give Yourself.

Keeping this one short and sweet.

We encounter all sorts of friendships in our lives. Best friends, childhood friends, when-i-see-you-out-ill-awkwardly-say-hi friends, college friends, and maybe even an imaginary friend from back in the day. But there is nothing in life quite like a good friend. Someone you can laugh and cry with, tell your secrets to, and someone you can love knowing they will always love you back no matter how outrageous you looked dancing at the bar last weekend.

I have an incredible group of good friends, and for that I could not be more thankful.  No one is like another, and I have learned something new from every single one of you. I have friends that make my heart happy and cheeks hurt from laughing so much. What more could a girl ask for? In the past few months I have felt such outpouring and unconditional love from all of my friends. Your love has shown through in hugs, phone calls, glasses of wine, stupid jokes, the list goes on, but be assured no small act has gone unnoticed. And as I head into this next journey, I am confident that I have never felt as supported or loved by a group of people as I do now. The feeling is overwhelming, and is sending me off with a full heart and a huge smile on my face.

So think of this as a thank you. A big huge hug, abundant gratitude, and a big fat kiss for being my friend. I will carry you all so close in my heart throughout this journey.

Flaps up tomorrow, next post will be from South Africa!!!!!!

All my love,

Chels

God, Grace, and Gratitude

I believe in God. I live through grace. I live in gratitude.

God, grace, and gratitude- An unfailing trifecta of G's. While each may be viewed as independent concepts, the three together have the ability to create things far beyond our abilities.

While I may not have rockstar attendance at church and haven't dutifully read scripture, I still have faith. I strongly believe there is a Higher Power greater than us all. Call it God, call it Allah, Krishna, whatever resinates with you, its there. I believe God has put all of us on earth with purpose and a plan. Everything we encounter in our lives is perfectly timed (even though we may not always think so) and for a reason in accordance with His intention for us. I also believe in science. I am fully aware and not ignorant to the fact that everything that happens can be explained by a scientific truth. But, if science was the only way I explained things that have happened in my life, I would have a titanium heart and an encyclopedia series of both shitty and happy facts. You can logically reason and fact your way through any situation, but God gives you hope for them. He gives you a guide, a reason, and a purpose to work through and carry on. He may not give you the "why" right away (or ever), but faith provides encouragement and reassurance things are happening according to plan. For things we don't understand, think are fair, or don't want to do, he gives us grace.

Grace can have many meanings and come in many forms. Some view grace as good manners, others as something spiritual, and if your five maybe as something you eat before you can have your mac and cheese. Grace can be in the form of a thing, a person, an experience, an emotion, or a freedom. I view grace as a gift. An unconditional gift from God, given with no strings attached. You don't have to be fearless or have endless courage to receive grace. It comes to those who are grateful and humble. Its not something that can be repaid, but it is a gift to be lived out.  We live out our grace through faith and gratitude.

I have abundant gratitude for many many things in my life.  Life without gratitude would be like s'mores without the chocolate. So not tasty. Marshmallows and graham crackers are average, chocolate is the extra delicious goodness that completes the picture. Gratitude comes from within, allows you to appreciate all that you have and grow your heart. As my trip quickly approaches ( 15 days) my awareness of all I have to be grateful has been heightened, especially thanks for God and Grace. I know I will need all three to guide me through my adventure ahead. God and gratitude for grace and grace to be grateful. But until I leave in two weeks I have much to be grateful for here in Charleston and in my life today. So here is my gratitude list for today, I encourage you to take inventory of what your grateful for every now and then and jot some things down.  It feels good. You may have a lot more to smile about than you think.

If your grateful, your happy. If your not, your not.

Today I give gratitude for:
-Family (first and always)
-Yoga
-Dellz lunch dates with Beth, Sarah and Jess
-Walks with Emily Chess
- My dogs Max and Putter
-Chocolate coconut water (holy delicious)
-Faith
-Friends
-Phone calls from my sister who hates to talk on the phone
-Sneakers
-Laughter
-Big Bang Theory
-Jumble Cookies
-Open hearts

Simple, but hard.

It starts when we are young: growing out of your favorite pair of pink Chuck Taylor Allstar high tops. Flushing your first gold fish that you properly named, loved and cared so much for all three days of its life. Letting go. The process remains the same as we get older; it is the ideas, relationships, and things we attach to the act that changes. Letting go- simple, but hard.

I've had to learn and accept a lot about letting go in a short 23 (flirting with 24) years. Both of my parents are alcoholics (one early in recovery). Living with and through this has taught me the biggest lessons of surrender. I've had to learn to let go of wanting and thinking I have the ability to change someone. Anger. Resentment. Expectations. Ideas and assumptions about perfection. And fear of the future. And just because I let go once, dosent mean its gone for good. I can also be REALLY good at holding onto things. I find myself falling back into old patterns, thoughts, and feelings that are comforatable, but no longer serve me. And it becomes a lot harder than just flushing them down the toilet like the goldfish. The action of letting go is still just as simple, it's the acceptance of change and taking action that's hard.

Letting go is like learning how to swim. We dip our toes in, knowing the potential to do something big and new exists. Then work our way down the steps and onto the wall. Eventually taking a few paddles away from the wall, but at first scrambling right back to that safety net and support. Doggie paddle- simple, but hard. The familiar. But once we have made it far enough away from the wall, swimming towards the deep end with the big kids, there's no turning back. Letting go of the familiar, heading into the unknown. And from there the possibilities are endless. You could be the next Michael phelps for all you know (not me, I'm a horrible swimmer, more of a sinker- but you get the idea).

There have been times in my life, especially in the past few months that I have wanted more than ever to cling to the wall, hold on for dear life like a three year old with an ice cream cone. Ive wanted to close my eyes and wish my way back into "normal", click my heels together three times and be back in a place called "home". Dorthy did it, why can't I? But that clinging is not reality. Surrendering to what is actually going on, and moving away from the familiar is.

I've made my paddles away from the wall and have my eyes set on the deep end. This next adventure I will let go of so many things familiar: hot showers, my own bed, things starting with an i (phone, pad, pod), talking to my family every day, familiar faces, self doubt, blonde hair (its true im going burnette), and most importantly the fear of the unknown. This trip is my leap off the diving board. Letting go and leaving behind anything to hold me back so I can open up and create space for recieving and experiencing something entirely unfamiliar and extraordinary.

Letting go is not giving up, it's opening up. Surrendering is not a defeat, it's a victory with the prize of open space for something new. And that space is where you find your stripes.

Open Doors

So, here it goes. The beginning of a new journey. While no two journeys are alike, this new adventure I am about to embark on is an extraordinary opportunity. On September 19th ( in 33 days) I will depart for Fish Hoke, South Africa where I will spend almost three months working as a health care volunteer in a local health clinic and orphanage. Limited electricity, hot water, and internet. No washer dryer. No familiar faces or friends going with. Back to dorm style living. Sleeping with a mosquito net. And most importantly a fresh set of eyes and an open heart to see it all.

Just like everyone who walks the earth, my whole life has been a collection of journeys. I've had my share of bumps along the way, a few road blocks, and enough pot holes to earn an extra foot of toes to count on. I've traveled crystal clear journeys of joy and others that seemed like long foggy roads with a headlight out. But all of those prepared the way for me, began to create and shape who I am, for when I needed it the most.

The past six months have been without a doubt some of the most emotionally challenging I have ever faced. I found myself, more than once, as a crying heap on the floor experiencing the pain of loss, disappointment, heartbreak, and raw sadness unraveling within me. But from our deepest darkness, we find light. From breaking down, we learn to build up, spread our wings, and fly. From the pain I have experienced I am beginning to emerge with strength, courage, and an ability to feel joy that lies deep within us all. I've had journeys come to an end, said good byes, new beginnings, and journeys that still continue to work their course. Now I can begin to spread my wings once again, a new path.  I have my past in my heart and a solid foundation of who I am, but also fresh eyes open with eagerness and excitement to continue to discover what I can become. I can begin a journey to find my stripes.

Hellen Keller said "When one door to happiness closes, another opens. But so often we look so long at the closed door we do not see the one which has been opened for us." I look at this trip as shifting my gaze. Changing the direction I am looking. Turning my head, toward a new door of happiness.